Down Here On A Visit

Meme

Fri, 05 Dec 2008 19:06:59 GMT

On the twelfth day of Christmas, chrisherwood sent to me...

Twelve catnip_junkies drumming

Eleven diiannes piping

Ten fenjers a-leaping

Nine chrisherwoods dancing

Eight low_mans a-milking

Seven friends a-swimming

Six heroes a-laying

Five bo-o-o-ones

Four veronica mars

Three dresden dolls

Two tori amos

...and an auden in a firefly.

Dear Santa

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 23:02:48 GMT

Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

This year I've been busy!

Last Saturday I pushed geordie_star in the mud (-17 points). Last Sunday I gave change to a homeless guy (19 points). In June I helped fenjer see the light (8 points). Last month I turned catnip_junkie in for farting in church (3 points). In January I put gum in diianne's hair (-12 points).

Overall, I've been nice (1 points). For Christmas I deserve an Easy-Bake Oven!

Sincerely,
chrisherwood

Meme

Sun, 21 Sep 2008 20:23:04 GMT

My life is far too complicated for me to try to compose a post right now. I can complete the following meme though.

1. Do you like blue cheese?
No

2. Have you ever smoked a cigarette?
Too many to contemplate financially.

3. Do you own a gun?
No

4. What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic?
I have no idea what this means.

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments?
Yes

6. What do you think of hot dogs?
They taste funny.

7. Favorite Christmas Song?
All I Want For Christmas by Mariah Carey

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Coffee

9. Can you do push ups?
about 3

10. What's your favorite meal?
Good old fashioned Scottish mine 'n' tatties, or Steak and Chips

11. What's your favorite piece of jewelry?
The gorgeous ring I found today I really want but feel guilty about buying

12. Favorite hobby?
Having coffee and talking too loudly about bitchy girly things

13. Do you work with people who idolize you?
They fluctuate between awe and fear

14. Do you have A.D.D?
Quite possibly - I can't watch a whole film.

15. What's one trait that you dislike about yourself?
I care too much what other people think

16. Middle name?
I don't have one

17. Name 3 thoughts at this moment.
1) I should be ironing
2) I want that ring
3) Tori Amos is awesome

18. Name 3 things you bought yesterday:
1) Lunch
2) cigarettes
3) milk

20. Current worry right now?
that I may actually die of boredom

21. Current hate right now?
Ugg boots and Crocks

22. Favorite place to be?
by the sea

23. How did you bring in New Years?
In a local bar, drunk, dancing my ass off to Britney

24. Where would you like to go?
Berlin

25. Who will complete this?
anyone with too much time on their hands

26. Whose answer do you want to read the most?
I only really have time for myself

27. What color shirt are you wearing?
navy blue

28. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets?
I never have

29. Can you whistle?
Yes - but not enough to formulate a tune

30. Favorite color(s)?
Purple

31. Would you be a pirate?
No - I don't do facial hair

32. What songs do you sing in the shower?
Silent All These Years by Tori Amos

33. Favorite girl's name?
Amy

34. Favorite boy's name?
Sebastian

35. What's in your pocket right now?
my lighter

36. Last thing that made you laugh?
a really bad joke which I made at coffee this afternoon

37. Best bed sheets as a child?
it was something sci-fi like He-Man or Star Wars

38. Worst injury you've ever had?
Touch wood, I've been ill, but I've never been badly injured

39. Do you love where you live?
More than anyone who isn't me could ever understand

40. How many TVs do you have in your house?
One

41. Who is your loudest friend?
ooh, I don't know. My friends are all quite quiet - but totally awesome

42. How many dogs do you have?
None

43. Does someone have a crush on you?
I think someone does - but not the right someone

45. What is your favorite book?
This is a hard question. Prater Violet by Christopher Isherwood, probably

46. What is your favorite candy?
Kinder Bueno white

47. What is your favorite sports team?
any team that beats Man United - then I can tease my brother

48. What song do you want played at your funeral?
Yes Sir, I can Boogie by Baccara, followed by Liquid Diamonds by Tori Amos

49. What were you doing 12 AM last night?
Watching Queer As Folk

50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up this morning?
Ooooh, I can goes shopping now, yes?!

Wed, 03 Sep 2008 19:42:19 GMT

3 hours and eightteen minutes til my birthday!!!!!

Woohooo!!!!

Meme

Sat, 30 Aug 2008 14:12:44 GMT

1. YOUR REAL NAME:
Chris

2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME:( first 4 letters of real name then add izzle)
Chriizzle

3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color and favorite animal.)
Purple Meerkat

4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (your middle name and the street you live on)
Xavier Leith

5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name)
Maxch

6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (Your 2nd favorite color, and favorite drink)
Blue Vodka

7. YOUR IRAQI NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, 1st letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms middle name, 3rd letter of you dads middle name, 1st letter of a sibling's name)
Hxxaes

8. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (parents middle names)
Frederick

9.
YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one of your pets)
Black Oscar

OMG!!!

Mon, 25 Aug 2008 19:20:53 GMT

I'm having such a good day! It's sunny, and nice, and I got a payrise!!!! A not terribly small payrise! And I will be doing more accounts stuff like expenses and month end and all manner of funky cool things.

I also got some other good news today!! so I am bouncing around my room, wishing I had something to do, cos I'm all energetic from hyperness!!

Wine in the afternoon....

Sun, 24 Aug 2008 20:04:45 GMT

I've been bad. I went shopping.

I blame my friend Louise... it was her idea to drink wine instead of coffee when we met up today. Then, as we're friends from book group, we decided to wander up to Waterstones and collect our new book for September, which was only just published in paperback this week. This seemed like a really good plan, because we knew the wine would make us a bit more inclined to treat ourselves. Of course, this worked:

The book was on 3 for 2. So I ended up buying 4 (one was only £2 on it's own), and Louise bought 6 (Ooops!!!).

I got:

Heroes (Graphic Novel) Volume One
Nina Todd has Gone by Lesley Glaister (book group)
Tom Jones by Henry Fielding
Dracula by Bram Stoker.

Louise got a good selection, including Dangerous Liaisons which I recommended then felt guilty about cos it made her have 5 when she was trying to reduce from 4 to 3.

Then we went to hmv and Fopp but found we hadn't drank quite enough wine and were shamefully well-behaved. I was tempted by a few things but resisted. Louise had a spare copy of Breakfast At Tiffany's she had given me earlier!!! so by that point I thought I was doing really well with my four books and a dvd on a day when I wasn't supposed to go shopping.

I justified the books by saying that they were my 3 for 2 I would usually buy this Thursday (pay-day) anyway. And as my electricity bill is budgeted for and late, I still have the money in my account so can balance it out. I felt that I shouldn't extend that logic to any more dvds though...

... except for the two I ordered from Amazon when I got home: Gossip Girl Season One, and Supernatural Season Three...

It wasn't me. It was the naughty wine. And Louise. We're gonna meet up for wine on a Sunday regularly from now on!!!

When Edinburgh smiles...

Sat, 23 Aug 2008 14:22:02 GMT

... I smile right back at it. Saturday afternoon and the city is alive with possibility and invitation. 'Come stroll through my parks', it says, 'wander around my closes and see what beauty is hidden between the traffic jams and weekday thoughts of work deadlines. Look at my beautiful buildings, centuries of architectural ingenuity displayed for your pleasure. Stop, sit a while outside my pavement cafes and watch my people, gathered here from around the globe to feast on my wares, going about their business, living their lives. Observe my glorious skyline from your window seats and hillside vantage points. Amid my bookshops and bars and restaurants, museums, galleries, theatres, university buildings, streets of perfectly constructed houses, and the quiet suspended industry of scaffolded facades under re-development, I give you leave to wonder at my timeless dignity. Stay, or go away and come back, take me for granted or celebrate me in every moment. Know that I am here. Be as you are, take me as you find me and I will be your friend.'

I kissed a boy...

Mon, 18 Aug 2008 21:24:35 GMT

And I liked it!
Stubble burn's not fun; I worked past it!
I kissed a boy just to try it!
I hope tourists get some life soon!
It felt so good; it felt so right;
Don't mean I'm selling records tonight!
I kissed a boy and I liked it
I liked it

Writer's Block: Running Things

Mon, 18 Aug 2008 20:55:27 GMT

What would you change about your country if you could be in charge for a day?

Submitted By gentle_dream

View 500 Answers

Erm, the sodding weather!

I recruit, I convert

Sun, 17 Aug 2008 20:22:49 GMT

Squeeee!!!!! My bestest friend in the world has just created a livejournal. Woohooo!!!!! Huzzah!!!

Happy thoughts....

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 20:33:58 GMT

Okay, so I read over my journal last night and decided it's a bit negative - I complain a lot about boredom, or feeling tired/ill. Mostly this is cos I am more inclined to post when I'm in some sort of mood, but I want to address this. I've decided to post a list of things I'm happy about. Aiming for 25, so we'll see...

1) I love my family and they love me. Yeah, they think I'm an alien from some strange planet, but they're on my side...

2) I have fab friends. Online and in person, my life has a lot of cool and nice people in it, who I'm thankful for...

3) I love my book group, and books in general. I'm so glad I have the ability to access them, and talk about them with people. There is no greater joy than enjoyment in a book.

4) I love going for coffee, and I can do this often, with my friends. Best when it's a cinammon latte.

5) I love to dance and to sing. Okay, so I can't really hold a tune, and I'm not confident enough to dance as well as I can in public, but even just in my room, it gives me joy...

6) I have my fandoms. Torchwood, Buffy, Veronica Mars, Battlestar Galactica, Doctor Who... they fill the quiet time, make me smile, laugh, cry and generally just experience the pleasure of being alive and investing in something and being a big geek.

7) Hurrah for Tori Amos. She just makes sense. Even when I've no idea what she's actually singing about, I always feel moved and achieve catharsis through listening to her voice...

8) I love my flat. Yeah, it's stressful sometimes dealing with flatmates, but it's my room, my bed, my lovely kitchen and window seat with a view of beautiful sunsets to sit and read by...

9) Christopher Isherwood. He just is the voice I love to read...

10) Accounting. It has structure and form, and makes sense, everything is in balance, it's like poetry - you feel the bliss of a sense of acheivement when it works, like something you've always known but never seen written down to be appreciated before.

11) Accessories. How I love thee. From beautiful belts to gorgeous hats, scarves, funky bracelets and fabulous rings, they decorate our self perceptions and invigorate our souls.

12) Men. They can be so pretty. And so hot. Sometimes in real life they can be decent human beings too.

13) Freedom and self-sufficiency. Never knowing what tomorrow may bring but hoping for the best and knowing you can choose to do the thing you love.

14) My beautiful city. Gorgeous buildings, museums, galleries, book shops, libraries, bars, parks, universities. Cool and interesting people. The Edinburgh festival.

15) Going for lunch. Oh yes, the joy of food, and good company.

16) Laughing. Funny things online, in-jokes, random semantic misadventures, falling flat on your face just when you feel really cocky and self-satisfied and there's a hot guy walking by. Sometimes you just have to laugh.

17) Musicals. Yes, I'm gay. But I'm happy. Sometimes you just have to get your camp on.

18) Rainbows. So pretty. And symbolic of the sunshine and the rain. For what is one without the other?

19) Rainy Sundays. Warm room, steaming coffee, pile of books, no work. Fabulous!

20) Words. So much fun to play with. Good for on your own, or sharing with friends.

21) Meeting new people. There's always another point of view. There's always someone who'll smile and say hello, even if there are others who look grumpy and stomp past you.

22) Seeing friends happy. Whether it's academic success, or marriage, children or random squee over so called trivial things, there's always something nice happening to somebody, if you think about it...

23) Shoes. See above re gay.

24) Paydays and Amazon.co.uk. The ingredients for cool stuffs.

25) I'm alive. And it doesn't always suck. There's hairdye, and cake, and lots of other good things too....

Well, I did it. 25. Some duplication, not the most coherent, but I feel better now, which was the point.

SQUEEEE!!!!

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 22:42:17 GMT

I just ordered my Torchwood Series 2 Boxset!!!

I'm very bad!

But:

1) I can afford it;
2) I spent four years at university not able to afford to buy anything (hardly);
3) I work 39 hours a week and what's the point of that if you can't have the things you want?
4) It's TORCHWOOD!!!! - with James Fricking Marsters for free like icing on the best cake ever!!!

Thought for the day...

Sat, 14 Jun 2008 14:06:14 GMT

Blondes have so much more fun.

I've been a bad, bad boy....

Sat, 07 Jun 2008 21:13:08 GMT

I am so bored! Episode of Eastenders bored.

Today is the first day of my week holiday from work (or weekend before my week off depending how you define when my holiday starts) and as usual, I've studiously not made advance plans in order that I can be spontaneous, only to find that everyone else is either busy or not responding. Waah!!!

I shouldn't complain. I'm meeting a friend from school tomorrow I haven't seen since my 21st (nearly four years). So that will be fun. And if I don't spend money tonight then I can spend more tomorrow. As usual I have plenty books and dvds to occupy me. And if I went out, I'd consume alcohol, which may curtail my day tomorrow, as if that ever stops me - for some strange reason I never drink if I have work the next day, but plans with friends never holds me back (perhaps cos then I would never drink at all, and all that stuff's supposed to be fun and relaxed anyway).

I just really feel like being sociable tonight. A couple of drinks, an hour or two out of the house and then back home in a civilised condition at an appropriate time. Nothing doing. And I have an extra reason for wanting to go out tonight...

I've been a very bad boy today. I went shopping. I realised that the only two pairs of jeans I ever wear (which is whenever I'm not working) are 3 and 4 years old respectively, and have seen better days. Also, I had ran out of accessories. Which is a frightening prospect for a gay man to consider. So I did my sums and decided very impulsively how much I could get away with spending based on a three month forward cash flow calculation and went for it (oh yes, I can be spontaneous and bad!)

The shopping was actually really successful though. I got two pairs of jeans, one pair of which I LOVE!! and the other pair are just fairly standard and serviceable but funky enough if I wear a cool top and accessorise. I also got two tops - one is a black t-shirt which is very well fitted and SO slimming. I'm very happy with myself for choosing that one - I was even too lazy to try it on. I also got some nice new beady bracelets and a kind of black wrist strap thing (it's about 2" wide and has tiny red dots on it) - I wonder if I was subconsciously thinking of Torchwood?...

So now I have new clothes and I want to go out!!! And my friend who was up for a drink hasn't text me yet. *Stamps foot*

How is everyone?

Where's Jack?

Fri, 30 May 2008 21:45:45 GMT

Just random!!

Since my colleague left my work two weeks ago I have taken over making the tea/coffee in the morning for the office. I don't intend this to be my responsibility indefinitely, just trying to be helpful - not leaving it to new person, or to my boss who by age and status wouldn't be expected to make it.

One of the other managers keeps calling me "tea-boy" (with perfectly friendly mocking tone). My first response is that this is clearly misogynistic, as he didn't find it amusing when my female colleague made the tea. My second is that if I am the "tea-boy" where's my Captain Jack?

Random Ramblings

Fri, 30 May 2008 21:35:20 GMT

Totally random week.

Been feeling ill since Tuesday - think the sinusitis is back! And I've been so tired! But last week was really intense - with a conference in Glasgow, and book group events and lots of work stuffs, and then I got slightly over-excited about Eurovision and accidently ingested a bottle of wine, half a bottle of champagne and a "few" vodkas (oops!!!) - which took a bit of recovering from.

I tried to be sensible and have early nights, but that's tough for an insomniac. On Wednesday I went to bed at 8pm and "listened" to Buffy with a teabag over each eye (to ward off eye bags). I watched the entire Season One this week. Been thinking about having a marathon and watching all Seven Seasons now I have them all on dvd, but that's a big challenge inbetween everything else I'm watching. In particular I got distracted by Alias Season 4 yesterday - I blame Fopp, fancy selling it for only £14!!!!

Found out tonight about the new Joss Whedon show next year! Probably so-o behind everyone else, but OMG - it's like the most exciting thing I've ever heard! Buffy and Angel are almost entirely responsible for my continued enjoyment of existence in the last 10 years! And Eliza Dushku and Amy Acker in the same show! Written by Joss Whedon. Did I, like, die! - or am I dreaming? I actually had to check imdb for the name of the show, and both the actresses profiles to see it was there too, before I'd believe it. And text a friend just to be sure it wasn't a joke! And now I has seen the trailer. Wants it. Now!! Next year is so far :(

Having a self-imposed quiet Friday night. But that's so I can get up early tomorrow and go on a proper day trip with my friend and her daughter. Somewhere in the Borders I think. I love being in a car - it soothes me somehow. And also on the train (though only 20 mins each way on the way to and from my friend's house).

I'm such a child! I have books galore to read, and stuff to watch, but I can still claim to be bored. It's cos there's no people here - I dinghy them because I think I'll prefer to read and watch stuff. Own worst enemy. Honestly.

How is everyone?

Weekend

Sat, 24 May 2008 11:11:33 GMT

I hate my body clock. 8.44am I woke up this morning, far more tired than I was last night, and my first thought was "Shit, I'm late!" Then I thought about it for two seconds, realised it was Saturday and groaned. Not a chance in the world I can fall back asleep after I wake up like that. Damn sunlight.

So. Saturday! Wooo! Coffee and nicotine have helped and I'm at least awake now. And I've chilled and listened to some music - Radiohead "Creep" and Blur "Coffee and TV" seem to have felt the most appropriate this morning, but I don't think I'm depressed - just waiting to wake up properly.

And today is Eurovision!!! The most important day in a gay man's calendar. I've got the album downloaded and I'm going to listen to it all day. Now I just need to finalise my plans. I think a friend is having a get-together to watch it. I was invited to Newcastle with friends but I can't afford it.

And I have a dilemma! It's a fairly typical dilemma for me - I want to buy a book. I have a strong impulse to buy "Twenty One stories" by Graham Greene, cos it has The Destructors in it and I watched Donnie Darko recently. But I keep buying books and not reading them - or some of them, I do read a lot nowadays - so I'm having a fight with myself about it. Sensible accountant vs shopaholic. Just another day really.

But I also need accessories really badly. I have no jewellery left at all. I feel like Superman without my cape (though that simile breaks down after that one small point, in so many ways). But I won't let myself buy any cos in that fight the accountant always wins.

My problem (well, the one I'm talking about) is that I need to fill the day or else I don't feel like I've done anything, whilst actually I'm tired and should probably just let myself chill. For some reason shopping counts as doing something. But then I'll just come home and be bored this afternoon. I should arrange to meet someone for lunch or shopping or something, but then I spend money *sigh*.

So: I want to go shopping; I don't want to spend money. I want to accessorise and dress up, maybe do my hair and feel funky; I really can't be bothered to do anything. And it's Eurovision, and that's so much pressure! And I also ought to be doing some household domestic things like washing and tidying and stuff but bleurgh - it's the weekend and I want to play.

I realise this is just a ramble and quite possibly makes no sense. But it feels better to be posting something. Even if it just helps me realise how insanely I overthink everything. So... apologies. Maybe I should just post this for myself alone, but if I post it publicly at least I feel I'm not being entirely anti-social if I do go down the book group.

BTW - The Eurovision album is awesome! I haven't listened to it before now.

Anyone reading this - be fabulous!!

I met Ian Rankin

Thu, 22 May 2008 21:41:19 GMT

I met Ian Rankin tonight! He signed my book and we chatted about Muriel Spark - turns out he did his PhD on her! All of which was very cool. He's very laid back and casual, but confident and has interesting stories to tell! I love Edinburgh! And I love my book group! And next month is Christopher Brookmyre (who I have not read at all, but I so wish I could go back in time and tell my seven year old self how many writers I get to meet nowadays - but then I might die and wouldn't be here now to meet them, so maybe it's a good thing I can't).

In other news, I am so beyond tired. My skin and the bags under my eyes look horrendous. Coupled with the cropped dark hair (just now anyway) and smokers' complexion, I feel I could easily be some sort of seedy heroin addict criminal in one of Rankin's books. My recent failed attempt to dance convincingly to Shakira's Hips Don't Lie have done nothing to dispel this (flashback to a chubby twelve year old boy pretending to be Madonna).

Anyway...

Tired. Tired. Tired. Pissed off with flatmates not paying bills. Waiting for my new colleague to possibly quit and leave us up the creek without a paddle. Weekend looming and scared to spend money in case I have to cover aforementioned flatmates' financial shortfalls.

And I have Oom Pah Pah stuck in my head. AGAIN!!!!! Aaaaaarghhh!

How are you all?

SQUEEE!!!!

Fri, 16 May 2008 19:25:13 GMT

My dvd's are here!!!!!

I now has:

Doctor Who Season Three Vol. 1
Oliver! (It's all Barrowman's fault!)
Elektra (people tell me it sucks, but I'm kind of in love with Jennifer Garner).
Great Expectations - like, the best soundtrack ever!

They're here, they're here.

Wooooo!!!!!

Time

Tue, 13 May 2008 22:29:14 GMT

Help! Somebody keeps stealing the hours!

My life is just running away from me! And so is my hair... waaah!!!!

Buffy squee!!

Tue, 22 Apr 2008 19:51:44 GMT

OK - just a short one-topic post but with very important - if somewhat belated - info.

I have FINALLY completed the conversion of my Buffy collection to dvd!!! Which means that I have ALL the extra features!! Including, eventually, backstage footage - though only from Season Six. It seems to be the only season where Sarah Michelle Gellar can even be glimpsed outside of the shows themselves.

So I now have a Joss shelf on my bookcase - which doesn't actually house my books which have taken over the rest of my room almost entirely, but all my dvd's and CD's. The shelf contains the complete Angel, complete Buffy, Firefly and Serenity and my Complete Slayer book and Watcher's Guide, the soundtrack cd - plus my Willow and Tara figurine thingy's. (Am I the only gay man in the world with a shrine to a fictional lesbian couple in pride of place in his bedroom?)

Anyway, it feels like a landmark acheivement to me cos I've been collecting them since I was a seriously impoverished student. I do believe I specifically extended my overdraft once to buy the Season Seven videos - it was an emergency!!! I would like to add that as an accounting graduate I only did that cos I knew I had money coming in to cover it.

To be honest, the main reason it's taken so long is that I got side-tracked by other things. By 2006 I thought I should try to find a new obsession, hence Angel. Last year thanks to catnip_junkie, I found Torchwood (my eternal gratitude), Supernatural, Veronica Mars, Joan of Arcadia and Heroes, along with Bones and Alias and Battlestar Galactica which I found myself. Buying the Buffy's I'd seen many times was always tempting, but they always got usurped by something new. Now, thanks to my father's generous payment for the use of my accounting skills, and the passing of time, I couldn't resist the few seasons I didn't yet have.

YAYY!!!!!! Audio Commentary's ahoy!

The Rules

Mon, 24 Mar 2008 23:35:10 GMT

As I’ve been feeling a bit fed up, I’ve compiled a list of my favourite expressions/rules of life:

aka

Mantras of a gay man intent on survival

– Fifteen rules subdivided into the crucial areas of life, hair, shoes and men – followed by a poetic disclaimer.

Life

1) If you live a lie, you’ll die a liar.

2) You have nothing without honesty, integrity, self-respect.

3) The sun’ll come out tomorrow. Then it’ll piss down. But look – rainbow is pretty!

4) Style IS substance.

5) You’re never fully dressed without a smile.

6) Don't dream it. Be it.

Hair

7) Don’t touch the hair. (Unless you are invited!)

8) There’s no such thing as natural. It’s just lazy.

9) Blondes have more fun.

Shoes

10) With the right shoes, you CAN be a better person.

11) Sore feet is not an excuse. Wear the pretty ones.

Men

12) There are worse things I could do, than go with a boy or two.

13) Why have a boy when you can have a man?

14) The wrong man is ALWAYS worse than no man.

And finally, cos we all know it’s true…

15) Size DOES matter.

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,

A medley of extemporanea;

And love is a thing that can never go wrong;

And I am Marie of Romania

(Dorothy Parker)

Waiting to grow up

Sun, 23 Mar 2008 21:26:45 GMT

I'm so so bored.

I thought this would be a good weekend. I did actually try to make enough plans to keep me busy throughout it, but it didn't work. As usual I had cancellations and people not able to give as much time as I would have liked. And friends being boring and couple-y and just not around.

Oh, how I miss the student days! Always people around. Always a party to go to, or random unplanned things happening. I don't think I've ever adjusted! Three years since I graduated and I still want to be a student. Maybe that's why I refuse to get a more intellectually challenging job? Because I don't really want to move on at all?

On the plus side, gainful employment has its advantages. Like buying Torchwood. And books.

I have so little right to be bored! I have a series of Alias to watch, about 20,000 books I really really wanted, and had to buy, to read, Torchwood episodes i could re-watch and other new dvd's I haven't seen.

And a lovely pile of ironing to do! Lovely.

Sometimes in order to appreciate what we have, we have to compare it to something far worse!

Fri, 14 Mar 2008 09:39:53 GMT

Written: 130308 2pm Posted: 140308 9.30am

Well, it’s been a mad few weeks since I last posted!

Hard to know what to say, or where to start.

Leaving a*****e ex-boyfriends out of the picture (which is where they should be), things have been hectic to say the least.

For some reason I cannot quite work out, my work finally worked out that I have been desperately unhappy for weeks! And not only were they concerned, they set up a meeting to discuss it all fully and encouraged me to be as honest as I needed to be, and unconcerned with any issues of negativity or “dropping anyone else in it”.

That meeting was on Tuesday, and I told them that I have been increasingly confused and frustrated by what exactly my job purpose was – am I a manager supervising the activities of incompetent shop staff?, or a financial administrator who should be able to get on with doing the numbers unencumbered by distractions which should rightly fall in management or HR departments? Now, obviously I was not quite so direct as that when speaking to my bosses, but I was shocked by my own honesty and courage. And very happy with their response. They seemed really willing to help, and really sorry I had been so unhappy. They seem very keen to improve the situation and develop strategies to improve my conditions (and fix the problems which I had reported which was probably more of a motivation). More importantly I believe them. It probably won’t change overnight – but I do really think things will get better. And I got some brilliant compliments into the bargain.

Also in the last few weeks, I’ve been made the moderator of my book group! The first meeting was also on Tuesday (Tuesday was the busiest day of meetings I’ve had since my final year at uni!) and it went very, very well. I think people approved, if they were surprised, that I had been chosen, and that the first book I wanted to do was The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie.

Tuesday’s hectic-ness was also exacerbated by finding out at 4pm that my landlord wanted to do a flat inspection at 10.30am the next day. Not technically legal, but it was more just that he had to come round anyway to let in a workman and wanted to have a look round to see what needed to be fixed. He didn’t seem to be concerned with inspecting cleanliness or how well we were looking after the flat at all. I wish I had known this in advance.

And as of 5.30pm on Tuesday (or 6pm when I actually finished work, or 8pm after the bookgroup, or 10.30pm when I finished cleaning the flat) I was on holiday. With a rapidly approaching head cold just making its presence known.

Right now I’m on a train from Glasgow to Lockerbie, 5 hours after setting off from my flat! Gales yesterday knocked out the East Coast Main Line and I had to go from Edinburgh to Glasgow, change stations and wait for a direct train. I could have gone to Carlisle and came back up to Lockerbie (having gone through it on the way down) but they would have charged me extra!!!

I’m going to see my family and do my dad’s accounts. After the madness that has been my life recently, this seemed like a great plan. I’m not sure I still think that now that it’s actually time – I nearly postponed. We shall see…